Black Balloon haiku
a needle pierces the flesh, yet it leaves to mark, scar, speckle. Black Balloon cries out “Oh! It hurts!”
Heeding Advice
Funny thing about advice – it’s hardly ever heard. The enquirer really only wants to hear that what they’re doing is right and not to change. If something other than such is offered, the different direction given falls on deaf ears.
Random Stuff
A year since you left us
Did you think I’d be fine
And just be
Mother Mary comes to me, speaking words of wisdom
Let it be.
RIP mom Mary Frances Ross 1935 – 2016
Who Am I?
John said I may be a dreamer but I’m not the only one. Jimi said I’m a foxy lady. Thomas says I look good in his TShirt. Luke says I’ve got him twisted, like the old beach roller coaster. I’d like to think those songs were just for me, but that’s only in my head. That kind of confidence I don’t know.
I’m a good person. I screw up a lot, but I think everyone does. We all are making it up as we go along. I’m not happy with certain choices I’ve made, now just trying to live with those consequences. Other choices, although glaringly obvious, should have been made long ago.
I go from day to day, knowing if I didn’t get it done, there’s tomorrow, and if it turns out I don’t have a tomorrow, well then if wasn’t that important anyway. I try not to beat myself up too much, but I’m my worst critic.
Just keep on, that’s all I know to do. As for answering who am I, I’m still looking.
No, I Don’t
Know what the fuck I’m doing. Fooled ya, didn’t i? I was trying to fool me too.
No, you DON’T have a treat me like a fool. No, you DON’T have to make up all the bloody rules.
I’ll find my way back if I have to walk and/or crawl back.
You Can Get Addicted (to a certain kind of sadness)
I’m beginning to think I can only feel extreme sadness or extreme rage. Either one fits right now, and I knew better knew better to go down there tonight. I knew nothing good would come of it, and all I wanted to do was exactly what I did. Ooh does it mean that… No, it means he was feeling lonely too. That’s all it means. Nothing more. It was fun while it was real but nothing more. Just surprise!! I’m human too. Hurt me and I’ll cry and please don’t hurt me. But please don’t hurt me because I’m getting really sick of the sound of me crying. I have to respect him for being honest and not stringing me along because he totally could have. I probably wouldn’t have noticed or even cared.
Jeremy standing up to his dad on my behalf makes me proud and makes me smile.
I know Karma, inside and out. I have known my fair share of suffering. I can even admit when something comes my way that I even probably deserved it. But this, this is as far from okay as I’ve ever been and I have cried my eyes out but I know I did nothing to deserve this. I am a good person. If I can ask please for prayers to give me peace, help me understand. Thank you.
I have some pretty awesome friends, that much I know. And Stacey – added bonus.
I have GOT to get out of here before I rip my own hair out.
I can’t believe Ashton is scared of me. Of ME!?! Wow. I’m such a total badass she doesn’t know how much time I’ve spent in tears, afraid of my own shadow and what it took to pull me out. All I can say is wow. Just. Wow.
Living
Is easy with eyes closed
Misunderstanding all you see
When perpeptions are skewed to start with it’s hard to keep an open mind.
You either go with the flow or get left behind. When you get left behind. Keep true.
An open mind and so any other things doors, opens, etc, will open. Watch.
Yin Yang
The white to my black
The black to my white
He knows what I’m thinking before it’s formed in my brain
The day he was born, and just the two of us…..I knew we’d be fine. How do I tell someone with no kids what being a mom is about? How you’d do anything for that child before it’s even asked?
The pride I have for my teeny little super guy I’m now concerning for me. He doesn’t need me, but I need him like way ever before.
Shower Time
Oh Lard yes
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